Amy's Top 10 Lists (Like you care...)

Here are few top ten lists from me to you:

Amy's Top Ten Movies of All Time:
1. Short Cuts
2. Boogie Nights
3. Splendor in the Grass
4. Goodfellas
5. Carrie
6. Escape from New York
7. The Rescuers
8. Office Space
9. Kingpin
10. Groundhog Day
Honorable Mention: Fame, All that Jazz, Singing in the Rain, Annie Hall, People Vs. Larry Flynt, Jackie Brown, Harold and Maude, Best in Show, The Royal Tennenbaums, and The Breakfast Club and Mean Girls.

Amy's Top Books of All Time:
1. Eloise
2. The Giver
3. Slaughterhouse Five
4. Huckleberry Finn
5. American Psycho
6. The Pearl
7. Silas Marner
8. To Kill a Mockingbird
9. Sloppy Firsts/Second Helpings
10. Sense and Sensibility
Honorable Mention: The Grapes of Wrath, Everything that Rises Must Converge, Cathedral, The Sweet hereafter, Slapstick, Robert McKee's Story, The Red Pony, Emma, Under the Banner of Heaven, Devil in the White City and Fast Food Nation.

Amy's Top Ten Albums of All Time:
1. Rubber Soul The Beatles
2. Fear of a Black Planet Public Enemy
3. Can't Buy a Thrill Steely Dan
4. Paul's boutique The Beastie Boys
5. Rumours Fleetwood Mac
6. 3 Feet High and Rising De La Soul
7. Candi Staton Candi Staton
8. Revolver The Beatles
9. Sign o' the Times Prince
10. The Black Album Jay-Z
Honorable Mention: Shake you Money Maker The Black Crowes, Pretzel Logic Steely Dan, apocalypse 91...Public Enemy, Way to Blue Nick Drake, Greatest Hits Aretha Franklin, Pearl Janis Joplin, Highway to Hell AC/DC, Destroyer KISS, What's Going On? Marvin Gaye, and In Search Of...NERD and Magnolia Aimee Mann/various

Amy's Top Ten TV Shows Right Now:
1. Six Feet Under
2. All My Children
3. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
4. Clean Sweep
5. Chappelle's Show
6. Reno 911
7. Real Time with Bill Maher
8. Pardon the interruption
9. I Love the...(fill in the decade)
10. Pimp my Ride

Let the games begin. What do you think?

William and Mary Won't Do

So, in about a month, my class is having its 10 year reunion. I'm not real sure how I feel about it. I'm going. You want to know why I'm going? Because I'm petty and want to brag about my awesome life. I want to show people how cool my life is. Okay, so I work a lot, feel stress from the hustle and bustle of my city, and have noise sensitivity disorder. I'm making it! I can show everyone how awesome I am.

You would think that I would be a bigger person than that. That I would be unfazed by it, but I'm not. This is going to sound off, but deep down I'm shallow. I love to brag and show people what I've got. I love having nice things, traveling, and having a cuter husband than I ever thought I would get.

Who knows? This whole thing could be a big downer. But, I'm hoping for some gloating and hopefully someone will play some Steely Dan.

Amy's Theory of Soap Operas (A tentative version)

Okay, a lot of people will not admit to watching soap operas. They're not quality, the viewers are dumb, they have no redeeming values. To this I say HHMMPH! I disagree. Soap operas are some of the most progressive shows on television, which in turn, says a lot about their viewers.

I watch "All My Children" regularly (Thank you Soapnet!). So, my entire theory is based around this show. There are other shows I drop in on and they too are progressive. But, as a frequent viewer, who started watching the show in utero. I will comment specifically on AMC.

America, not counting New York and California, is supposedly this conservative and prudish place filled with right wingers and racists who want to blow up abortion clinics. Now, if this was the case, and if many of these people were women, what can explain soap operas?

Interracial couples featuring both black men/white women and vice versa were first seen on soaps, abortions have been performed on soap operas without anyone dying or being punished, AMC had TV's first lesbian in the 80's and OLTL (one life to live) had TV's first gay character face homophobia. On these shows people will share controversial opinions that are discussed in a way that primetime would never touch.

A recent example followed the character of Bianca Montgomery facing an unwanted pregnancy. AMC had two characters give long speeches about choice. The character did not have an abortion but had the baby. Other characters have chosen to terminate pregnancies. Now, think about primetime. There is lots of talk about choice, but the character usually has a miscarriage before any sticky issues can be looked at.

So, either America as a whole is more liberal in personal issues or soap operas only appeal to the educated class. Which is it?

Lady Porn

People are always looking for ways to arouse women. They talk about making porn for the ladies. Something seductive, something that is made with romance involved...Along with the DVDA. But, I already get aroused often. On a good week, maybe three times. What is the magical elixir that stirs my womanhood? Pottery Barn, J. Crew, and the Williams Sonoma catalogs.

These catalogs are what I call "Lady Porn". Watch a woman over the age of 25 look at these catalogs. Their face is flushed, there may be some inappropriate touching. Why? Why do women love it? Why do I love it? Let's look at each catalog and see what mysteries of the female mind they hold.

Williams Sonoma Catalog: The food in the catalog is always decadent (pound cake mix, ice cream sandwiches, etc.) and can be made at home! No need to feel guilty in public you make beautiful food at home in pretty appliances. The products are lux and have the air of fancy to them. And, never underestimate the power of a pannini press.

J. Crew Catalog: Yes, there are beautiful boys and skinny, smart looking girls. They are all laughing together and having a great time. But, their good looks are not the only thing that makes this catalog such a must. The clothes! Oh my Lord, they put together blue blazers, knit golf shirts, and rumpled khakis. Just imagine Toby Maguire in that outfit, or Djimon Hounsou, or John Stewart. Holy crap! I need a minute.

Pottery Barn Catalog: I went and saved the best for last. Pottery Barn. How can I describe it? What makes it such an object of lust? Could it be the upper middle class homes that are bedecked with antiqued telephone stands or the wrought iron beds with 1000 thread count sheets patterned in lilies of the valley. Maybe its the silver fans and black 1940's telephones and the leather ottomans or the armoires or the...I need a cigarette break.

Cue the Darth Vader Theme...

So, the Lakers are offering the coaching job to Coach K (I'm not even going to try to spell his last name) from Duke the head coach job. Perfect! Super! Great! As if the Los Angeles Lakers are not the most despised team around, you are going to hire a coach that college basketball fans love to hate. Yep, that ought to just about make your team as popular as ebola monkeys.

Coach K is a great coach, he has done everything he can with the Blue Devils. But, this could be another Pitino situation. What works in college does not work in professional.

I honestly feel like if Coach K takes it he will be giving in. I think he is tired of losing recruits and underclassmen to the draft. Going to Duke, just a few years ago, was a sign that you were going to get an actual education, albeit in sociology or phys ed., but you would have a degree. Now, Duke is losing as many underclassmen as any team out there. I think it kills Coach K to not be ruining as many players for the pros.

Ruining? Why would I say that? Look at Lattner, Hurley, Hill, Parks, etc... I guess he just wants to ruin some professional players now. Great, do it with the Lakers. But, Shaq, please leave. Go someplace fun. I like you as a person, you twisted my arm during the MTV Cribs episode, go to a team that won't be run by two preening wackos.

Worst Post Ever...

So, here is the first post. Wow. I can feel the magic...Wait, should the magic be a burning sensation? Oh well, too late now. You have entered my domain, where thoughts run free and are only fed grains. Free range blogging. After this sorry post I will be ranting about any number of topics and hopefully you will come and look. I think this is going to be fun, but who knows, it could be the dumbest thing ever.

But, I am hoping that what I write at least gets you to think and to maybe like me. I am deathly afraid of not being loved and all of you reading will keep me from swirling into an alcoholic shame spiral. So, no pressure on you.

Well, keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground. Until the next time...