An Open Letter to Missy Elliot

Dear Missy,
Holla! It's me Amy. I just wanted to write and let you know how I feel about your new album "The Cookbook". Girl, you know I love you. I have all your albums on my iPod. But, this new album is 50% good and 50% horrible. Now, everyone knows I love when hip-hop stretches. But, don't take this the wrong way...STOP SINGING!!!!!
When you make a club banger you are the tops. Your experimental sound, use of rhythm, and cutting edge guest stars make your songs ready for a spin. But, on your new album there is maybe five songs ready for the club (Partytime, Lose Control, We Run This, Mommy, and Bad Man) and these five songs tear the roof off. "Bad Man" is a dancehall classic and featuring new grime mistress M.I.A. was a typically savvy move.
But, songs about cheating and your man and sex, that is not what your fans want Missy. I'm sorry. Most of your fans like the bangers. I like bangers! Please stop trying to be the Queen of the Quiet Storm. Be the queen of dance, your rightful throne.

Sincerely,
Amy