Why American Idol is an Imperfect Judge (but can be right as well)

So, not the most interesting topic, I know. But, I was thinking about this the other day. There are at least 10 top selling artists of both genders that I know would never make it to L.A. on American Idol. And, the fact that these artists have sold millions of albums along with critical acclaim should be enough to put the nail in the coffin. But, there are also interesting and talented singers who could win American Idol. So, who knows, maybe this whole exercise is futile. But, it sure is fun.

So, please do enjoy...

Top 5 Male Artists Who Would Never Win American Idol
1. Bob Dylan
2. James Brown
3. Tom Petty
4. Freddie Mercury
5. David Bowie

Top 5 Male Artists Who Could Totally Win American Idol
1. Donny Hathaway
2. Adam Levine (Maroon 5)
3. Luther Vandross
4. James Taylor
5. George Michael

Top 5 Female Artists Who Would Never Win American Idol
1. Janis Joplin
2. Aretha Franklin (a little pitchy dawg...)
3. Emmylou Harris
4. Macy Gray
5. Ronnie Spector

Top 5 Female Artists Who Could Totally Win American Idol
1. Bette Midler
2. Mama Cass Elliot
3. Mary J. Blige
4. Whitney Houston
5. Linda Ronstadt

Anymore YOU would add to the list?

My Top 5 Favorite Movie Genres

Anyone who knows me, knows I love movies. To me, film is the most integrated are form. The use of a score, popular music, lighting, editing, acting, writing, locations, and the use of close-up, split screen, and other cinematic trickery make film an immersive experience. A good film can transport you to wherever it is. No matter if that place is real or not.

With that said, I think I have 5 genres that pretty much always get me and capture my attention. Most people, when they see one of these movies advertised, will call it an "Amy Patrick Special". But, I think each of these genres usually yields interesting fruit.

Please read and add your own genres and some recommendations. I'm always looking for something interesting to watch.

Top 5 Genres:
The Roman a Clef- Nashville, Velvet Goldmine, Sunset Boulevard, Mommy Dearest, Boogie Nights, The Player, Almost Famous

The Con Game/Heist Movie- Oceans 11, 12, and 13, The Brothers Bloom, Heist, Hard 8, The Color of Money, The Spanish Prisoner, The Grifters

The Whimsical/Twee Comedy- Harold and Maude, Rushmore, Amelie, Punch Drunk Love, Putney Swope

Man Vs. Nature (or himself)- Aguirre Wrath of God, Grizzly Man, The New World, Apocalypto, Into the Wild, Predator I and II

The Gritty Sci-Fi- Solaris, Alien series, 2001: A Space Odessey, A Boy and his Dog, Sunshine

Telling my Daughter About Michael Jackson

Freak. Genius. Molester. Artist. King of Pop. All of these descriptions and more hang on Michael Jackson. He was a human being with MANY problems and amazing talent. He became a plastic surgery nightmare and living freak show. He was broke, frail,a nd troubled in his last days. But, in the end, none of this is what I have to tell my daughter. And for that, I am happy that Michael Jackson died before she was a teenager.

I know that sounds harsh, but hear me out. When I was growing up and old enough to appreciate the music, Elvis had already been dead for a while. Because of that, I could listen to the music with no taint. I didn't have the image many did of a fat, drugged out man shooting TV's and dying on the toilet. I only heard his music. I had the same experiences with Billie Holiday, Charlie Parker, Chet Baker, Janis Joplin, Mama Cass, Jimi Hendrix, Marvin Gaye, Sam Cooke, and many more I'm sure I'm forgetting. When I was young I got to hear these artists just for their music. Only later as I became a budding music snob and read biographies and articles did I find out the more sordid details of their lives. By that time, it didn't matter. I already loved their music and their "history" became something to know, but not judge.

And now, because of his death, I can do the same thing to Michael Jackson. I can play Sadie his music and can talk about what matters.
*He was one of the first artists to use "white" artists to help his music crossover (Eddie Van Halen on "Billie Jean", Paul McCartney).
*His production changed with the times and always used the most advanced technology for a complete sonic experience.
*He wrote or co-wrote many of his songs and worked on the musicality.
*As a member of The Jackson 5 he was part of a band that was the template for most boy bands from the 1980's until today.
*He sold millions of albums crossing all demographics.
*His dancing was praised by people like Bob Fosse and Gene Kelly.
*He made music videos a viable commodity and was the 1st black artist on MTV.

The man made great music. I get to let my daughter hear that music. She can do the research on the "real" Michael Jackson when she gets older.

Dream Projects: 1st in a Series

So, I always read or see things that I think would make great movies. I have decided to write about several ideas and projects I would love to do.
I am going to start with my film adaptation of the book "Fortress of Solitude". I have linked to the Wikipedia entry so you can read about the plot. You will see my cast list, DP, editor, and several songs I think should be used along with the composer.
Please do enjoy...

Fortress of Solitude (adapted by Amy Patrick from the book by Jonathan Lethem)

Directed by Amy Patrick
Director of Photography Matthew Libatique
Edited by Sally Menke
Score by Clint Mansell

Cast: main cast listed only
Dylan Edbus- unknown teen actor, Ben Shenkman
Mingus Rude- unknown teen actor, Michael Ealy
Abraham Ebdus- Bobby Cannavale
Barrett Rude, Jr.- Idris Elba
Arthur Lomb- unknown teen actor, Anson Mount
Robert Woolfolk- unknown teen actor, Tyrese Gibson
Rachel Ebdus- Julianne Moore
Doily (homeless man with ring)- Amiri Baraka

Selected Soundtrack:
Rapper's Delight (Sugarhill Gang)
Loose Booty (Sly and the Family Stone)
Anti-Love Song (Betty Davis)
Am I Black Enough For You? (Billy Paul)
Boys Don't Cry (The Cure)
Waiting for the Man (Velvet Underground)
Mannish Boy (Muddy Waters)
Evil (Howlin' Wolf)
Bitch (Rolling Stones)
Ball of Confusion (Temptations)
Tonight I'll be Staying Here with You (Bob Dylan)
Set it Off (Big Daddy Kane)
Buddy (De La Soul)
The Payoff Mix (Steinski)
Mind Playin' Tricks on Me (Geto Boys)
Nutbush City Limits (Ike and Tina Turner)
Whipping Post (Allman Brothers)
God's Gonna Cut You Down (Odetta)
And many more...


I can only hope Mr. Lethem could read this. I really love this book and could really do it justice.

Dead Joke Pile

So, when I was still writing jokes and grinding out on the scene, I tried to keep my act fresh. What this means is besides war horse jokes that do not reference specific pop culture and political things, you add in topical stuff. It shows that you keep writing and have space in your act for new things.

That being said...

These kind of jokes also die. War horse jokes stand the test of time, audience, and style. You can use them anytime and are usually the jokes you use for auditions and big shows. These other jokes you use for a short time and then they die.

I wanted to write down, for posterity, two jokes I wrote and really love, but have already expired.

Please do enjoy.

"So, Alicia Keys has a song called 'Unbreakable' and it is all about love. But, one thing threw me off. She says we can fight it out like Ike and Tina. Um, what? I have fought many times with my husband, but I have never been hit with a purple snakeskin boot while trying to record 'Nutbush City Limits'."

"I hope they make a movie of the transit strike if only because Forest Whitaker would nail the role of Roger Toussaint."

See, am I right? Am I right?

Cinnabon Cinnamon

So, I bought this cinnamon bread for breakfast. It is quite tasty with coffee and a little butter.

But, here is the thing to me. They advertise the bread as "made from Cinnabon" cinnamon. So? Who buys a Cinnabon roll for the cinnamon?

"Could I get one of your decadent rolls? But, please, for God's sake DO NOT put any of that buttercream on it. It distracts from the scumptious cinnamon."

Please...

Get Ready for an Even More Ridiculous Blog!!!!

So, if all goes according to plan, I will have this blog outfitted with Twitter. That way, instead of windy, self-important blogs, you will glory in my short self-important musings.
Aren't you just thrilled.

Revenge of the Blerds

Blerd is a noun. It is a combinaiton of the words Black and Nerd. With a Blerd-in-Chief just put into office I wanted to use this time to spotlight a few blerds out there in other fields. If you know anymore, please feel free to send in suggestions.

Before the list, what makes a blerd? Blerds are a little wonky and techy. They usually work behind the scenes. Some of them can go from blerds to just straight up cool kids. This happens a lot in the music industry. But, they are marked by eccentricities. Most have interests that are not stereotypical and can confound the masses. But, much like all their nerd bretheren, they find joy in things that might not always be popular.

In my list, I am dealing with only living blerds. Trust me, this list could be full without ever leaving the 1920's. Please do enjoy.

MUSIC:
Missy Elliot
Kanye West
The Roots
Cody Chestnutt
Pharrell
Timbaland (pre-weightlifting)

FILM/THEATER/TV:
Spike Lee
Larry Widmore
Chris Rock
Darnell Martin
Stew
Suzan-Lori Parks
Don Cheadle
George C. Wolfe

SPORTS:
Larry Fitzgerald
LeBron James
Marcellus Wiley (aka Dat Dude)
Mike Singletery
Venus Williams
Cheryl Miller

POLITICS:
Gene Robinson
Cory Booker
Dominic Carter (host of NY1 "Inside City Hall")
Amiri Baraka
Carl McCall
Maxine Waters
Cornell West

LITERATURE:
Rebecca Walker
Colson Whitehead
Ta-Nehisi Coates
Keith Knight
Kyle Baker

Merry Christmas from Amy and Sadie

So, I am starting my annual tradition of my favorite holiday videos. Have a great Christmas, Hannukah, Kwaanza, or just a nice winter!

Got My Holiday Spirit!

So, I watched a show last night called "The Secret Millionaire". It got very dusty in our house at the end of the show. In it, a millionaire lives in a depressed area and interacts with people. At the end of 2 weeks they come back and give people and their charities anywhere from $100,000 and up to people they want to.

Good works are praised and the rich people are giving their own money. It does my heart good to see things like that. I hope that all of us can have some generosity in our hearts during the holidays. Donating time, leaving extra tips, and helping people out matter as much as money.

If you want more information, go to the website below.

http://www.fox.com/secretmillionaire

Thank you Barack Obama

Now, Marty McFly never has to tell Mayor Goldie Wilson he can be mayor. He'll believe it on his own.

VOTE

VOTE!!!!!VOTE!!!!!VOTE!!!!!VOTE!!!!!

We can change the world today.

When I Grow Up...

I want to be Thornton Melon when I grow up.



Seriously, who doesn't.

My Oral Surgery

This video is a re-enactment of my recent tooth extraction. Jude Law is playing the role of Amy Patrick in this scene.
I am finally losing the pizza burn sensation and stitches.
Hopefully, I will have an actual tooth and not an Amy Winehouse gaping mouth hole by the end of this month.

My Brain Hurts

I just watched a movie where Alan Payne played a Puerto Rican and Renee Zellweger played a Hasidic Jew.

I need to go lie down.

Best Way to Describe the Whole Thing

I used to get so worked up by Elisabeth Hassleback on "The View" that I wrote an angry letter. Now, she just makes me laugh. I think E! online did the best job summarizing her drama with the N word. I don't mean to rain on her parade but her party might have been Lincoln's at one time, but Nixon employed the Southern strategy to make sure that blue collar and southern whites voted against their best interests by using racism.
But, that is not the point.
The point is, Elisabeth is a naive dolt who needs to learn about the world around her. How she lives every day in NYC, I'll never know.

Per E! Online:
"Today in Viewland, what started out as a discussion over the hypocrisy of Rev. Jesse Jackson using the N-word on Fox News in an off-air comment quickly turned into a heated discussion between Elisabeth Hasselbeck and herself.
Elisabeth doesn’t believe anybody, regardless of race, should ever use the N-word, because she’s seen the movie Crash. Sherri Shepherd and Whoopi both try to explain their perspectives, but they can't get a word in because Elisabeth has worked herself up so much, she's crying by the end.
And that, dear readers, is why Crash beat out Brokeback Mountain for the Best Picture Oscar."

PS- Even Barabra told her she was only talking and not listening!

My Weird Crush

Anyone who knows me knows that I have two types of guys I am attracted to. There are tall, athletic type guys with race unimportant. I like a taller thin guy. (David Bowie, Alonzo Mourning, Ed Norton)
I also have a weird obsession with short dudes with dark hair that I am always crushing on. (Freddy Rodriguez, Hal Sparks, Adam Levine)
But, I now have a new crush. Rachel Maddow of Air America who is a frequent guest and guest host on Countdown with Keith Olbermann. She is really funny and smart and has that cute dykey look that not many people can pull off.
So, this post is for you Rachel.

What do these people have in common?







Only my love for all of them.

A Long Time...

It's been a long time since I did any kind of real blogging. I used to write about music, movies, books, TV, sports. Whatever.
But...
I had a baby.
Lately my time has been all mommy all the time. But, I want to start writing more. I will be writing more starting tomorrow.
Hope you enjoy it.

Walking on the Lower East Side...

I saw a sign that said this...
"Plus Size Skinny Jeans"

Nothing else necessary!

20th Anniversaries Make Me Feel Old

Since this weekend, MTV and MTV2 have been commemorating the 20th Anniversary of Yo! MTV Raps. This has me feeling just a bit old. "Why Amy?" you might ask. I'll tell you why my dear readers. I feel old because I remember when Yo! MTV Raps first came on TV.

I was 12 years old and in 8th grade. I was introduced to rap by several cousins. At that time, it was popular in big cities but was just making inroads into suburban and rural areas. In my town, there were only a few rap fans. Most people like top 40 or country music. My tastes made me a bit of an outcast. My best friend, Eroica, and myself would try to be home at 3pm ahrsp to watch Yo! MTV Raps. You would see videos that were not on all day.

Now, things have changed. MTV rarely shows videos and MTV2 has enough rap to make anyone know a few songs. But, one thing has kind of changed that I find completely ridiculous.

(tangent below)
Before I go on, let me start this by saying, I am a 32 year-old white mother of an infant. I went to college and got a master's degree. I am stating all this because I don't want what I say to be dismissed.
I AM TIRED OF EVERY WORD BEING CENSORED IN A RAP VIDEO!!!!!

Ok, curses not allowed by the FCC and the N-word are understandable. But, currently any words related to drugs, robbing, or murder are beeped. You can't say "gat" in any context, "ho" in any context. or any words that might be related to the topics. Never mind the words are being use in a metaphorical way. There is no way you will hear it.

Why does this bother me?

Because, currently MTV rides on the backs of rap. When it was a niche market they should most videos (excluding things like By the Time I get to Arizona by PE) with only the most extreme curses bleeped. Now, it's everything. What happened? Did the amount of white faces ingesting the videos mean things had to change. If anyone out there knows, please write your girl.
(end of tangent)

But, all week MTV2 celebrated the anniversary of Yo! MTV Raps. I sat and watched many of the specials and watched a huge amount of old school videos. The whole thing left me both happy and sad. The memories it brought up made me smile and think about the time I spent with these artists and their work.

But, I also realized that I am now an old person. 20 year anniversaries are happening for things I remember...well.