Tuesday, July 22, 2008

My Brain Hurts

I just watched a movie where Alan Payne played a Puerto Rican and Renee Zellweger played a Hasidic Jew.

I need to go lie down.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Best Way to Describe the Whole Thing

I used to get so worked up by Elisabeth Hassleback on "The View" that I wrote an angry letter. Now, she just makes me laugh. I think E! online did the best job summarizing her drama with the N word. I don't mean to rain on her parade but her party might have been Lincoln's at one time, but Nixon employed the Southern strategy to make sure that blue collar and southern whites voted against their best interests by using racism.
But, that is not the point.
The point is, Elisabeth is a naive dolt who needs to learn about the world around her. How she lives every day in NYC, I'll never know.

Per E! Online:
"Today in Viewland, what started out as a discussion over the hypocrisy of Rev. Jesse Jackson using the N-word on Fox News in an off-air comment quickly turned into a heated discussion between Elisabeth Hasselbeck and herself.
Elisabeth doesn’t believe anybody, regardless of race, should ever use the N-word, because she’s seen the movie Crash. Sherri Shepherd and Whoopi both try to explain their perspectives, but they can't get a word in because Elisabeth has worked herself up so much, she's crying by the end.
And that, dear readers, is why Crash beat out Brokeback Mountain for the Best Picture Oscar."

PS- Even Barabra told her she was only talking and not listening!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

My Weird Crush

Anyone who knows me knows that I have two types of guys I am attracted to. There are tall, athletic type guys with race unimportant. I like a taller thin guy. (David Bowie, Alonzo Mourning, Ed Norton)
I also have a weird obsession with short dudes with dark hair that I am always crushing on. (Freddy Rodriguez, Hal Sparks, Adam Levine)
But, I now have a new crush. Rachel Maddow of Air America who is a frequent guest and guest host on Countdown with Keith Olbermann. She is really funny and smart and has that cute dykey look that not many people can pull off.
So, this post is for you Rachel.

What do these people have in common?







Only my love for all of them.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A Long Time...

It's been a long time since I did any kind of real blogging. I used to write about music, movies, books, TV, sports. Whatever.
But...
I had a baby.
Lately my time has been all mommy all the time. But, I want to start writing more. I will be writing more starting tomorrow.
Hope you enjoy it.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Walking on the Lower East Side...

I saw a sign that said this...
"Plus Size Skinny Jeans"

Nothing else necessary!

Monday, April 14, 2008

20th Anniversaries Make Me Feel Old

Since this weekend, MTV and MTV2 have been commemorating the 20th Anniversary of Yo! MTV Raps. This has me feeling just a bit old. "Why Amy?" you might ask. I'll tell you why my dear readers. I feel old because I remember when Yo! MTV Raps first came on TV.

I was 12 years old and in 8th grade. I was introduced to rap by several cousins. At that time, it was popular in big cities but was just making inroads into suburban and rural areas. In my town, there were only a few rap fans. Most people like top 40 or country music. My tastes made me a bit of an outcast. My best friend, Eroica, and myself would try to be home at 3pm ahrsp to watch Yo! MTV Raps. You would see videos that were not on all day.

Now, things have changed. MTV rarely shows videos and MTV2 has enough rap to make anyone know a few songs. But, one thing has kind of changed that I find completely ridiculous.

(tangent below)
Before I go on, let me start this by saying, I am a 32 year-old white mother of an infant. I went to college and got a master's degree. I am stating all this because I don't want what I say to be dismissed.
I AM TIRED OF EVERY WORD BEING CENSORED IN A RAP VIDEO!!!!!

Ok, curses not allowed by the FCC and the N-word are understandable. But, currently any words related to drugs, robbing, or murder are beeped. You can't say "gat" in any context, "ho" in any context. or any words that might be related to the topics. Never mind the words are being use in a metaphorical way. There is no way you will hear it.

Why does this bother me?

Because, currently MTV rides on the backs of rap. When it was a niche market they should most videos (excluding things like By the Time I get to Arizona by PE) with only the most extreme curses bleeped. Now, it's everything. What happened? Did the amount of white faces ingesting the videos mean things had to change. If anyone out there knows, please write your girl.
(end of tangent)

But, all week MTV2 celebrated the anniversary of Yo! MTV Raps. I sat and watched many of the specials and watched a huge amount of old school videos. The whole thing left me both happy and sad. The memories it brought up made me smile and think about the time I spent with these artists and their work.

But, I also realized that I am now an old person. 20 year anniversaries are happening for things I remember...well.

Friday, April 11, 2008

My Favorite NY Places

Part One:
The Fulton Mall
Brooklyn, NY


I have decided to write an on-going series of pieces about some of my favorite places in NY. I want to cover the boroughs I enjoy and the things I like to do in these places. I wanted to start with a place near my house that doesn't get a lot of love, the Fulton Mall.

The Fulton Mall is not pretty. In fact, it is pretty ugly. Every awning has, like, fifteen qualifiers (ex. Pagers, Sneakers, Leather, DVD) and none of the stores are exactly neat and organized. And that is why I love them. On both sides of the mall, gentrification has hit hard. Brooklyn Heights and the Promenade surround the enterance of the mall. BAM, Mark Morris, and the Atlantic Center loom at the end of the mall. No matter what happens on either side of the mall, the mall stays the same.

The charm of the mall is the fact that it seems preserved in amber. The stores remind you that NY used to have a hip-hop beating heart. The stores might as well all be named "B-Boy Megamart". The stores feature CD's, bootleg DVD's, electronics, cell phones, and all the trappings of "urban" culture. But, some of the trappings are whimsical. The dearth of airbrushing spots makes one wonder when you stepped into Myrtle Beach. There are several shops that anchor the mall like Duane Reade and Cookies. But, what makes the mall run is the small shops providing a variety of goods and services.

Unfortunately not everything in the mall can stay the same. Beat Street Records has closed and now you have to hit web sites and few small places in the city for vinyl. However, the store lives on forever in Jay-Z's video for "99 Problems".

The mall seems to stay the same. When the weather is good the crowds surge. The street vendors are on every square inch of pavement (look for the guy selling Evisu, True Religion, and other high end jeans). It can smell a little weird. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Holy S@!T!!!!

Go read this blog. I almost wet my pants!!!!

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com

TV on DVD

There's a bit that Jim Gaffigan does about watching a movie ten years after it came out. You see it on cable and then want to talk about it. But, noone wants to talk to you about it because they saw it TEN YEARS AGO!!!!

Where am I going with this? I am recommending both "The Wire" and "Battlestar Galactica" to watch on DVD. I think that both of these shows benefit from watching in a chunk and really enveloping yourself in the experience. Both shows have small episode-centric plots along with expansive overarching stories. They develop their characters and engage you in ethical debates along with nerdy water-cooler talk. Both shows have an Altmanesque and Dickensian sensibility.

The first four seasons of "The Wire" are on DVD and the final season will be out soon. "Battlestar Galactica" has the mini-series, first 3 seasons, and the "Razor" prequel. The final season of BSG starts this Friday. Both shows are amazing and feature some of the best writing on TV.

Good writing leads me to my next tangent. My husband and I watched "Michael Clayton" on DVD. It was a tightly directed and written movie. My husband was like, "Why did I like that movie so much?" I basically stated in this day and age very few scripts and films last as long as they need too. Many are too long. Roger Ebert has a theory that states: all good movies can last four hours and you will not feel it, a bad movie can last one hour and you will check your watch. I cannot state how much I believe this. Any good experience in entertainment can last as long as it needs to.

It's a shame that a competent piece of filmmaking can get you that excited. But, as long as Michael Bay keeps making "awesome" movies and shows like "Rock of Love 2" get greenlit, gems like "Michael Clayton", BSG, and "The Wire" will get gobbled up by hungry viewers.

All of this comes down to demographics. White men aged 18-35 consume the most entertainment. So, until the rest of us ask for more, we aren't going to get it.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Getting Shots

So, today was Sadie's first round of vaccinations. She got four shots and an oral vaccine. She cried and got so upset she pooped her pants. But, her pain was over almost immediately and she has been eating and sleeping pretty much non-stop since she got home. The doctor was great. She had me hold Sadie's hand and focus her on me while she did it from the side silently and didn't do a lot of build up.

It was a tough decision to make. I have read many things about vaccines, autism, and the like. There is no definative answers and it is still being decided. There are 2 things that are not disputed. Mercury has not been in vaccines since 2001 and boys are more affected than girls. If I had a son, I will be honest, it would be a tougher decision for me.

I also feel that maybe increased sensativity to autism (spectrum disorder) has made parents and the general public see more cases and that it is just coincidence. But, I don't really know.

Needless to say, the 1st round is over. Sadie survivied. I survived. It will get easier.

Just like parenting.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I'm Toxic!

Joe convinced me to order Kinoki Foot Pads. He is a sucker for anything vaugly Asian and holisitic seeming. I'm pretty sure he was some kind of Japanese peasant in a former life. I digress. So, the whole thing with these pads is that you place them on alternating feet every night. Slowly the pads get less gross because your toxins have been leached out of your feet.

Much of this seems like Eastern philosophy hokum. It also plays into the whole idea of bodily humors. I'm pretty sure that idea went out of style after the Restoration.

And yet, I am using them for the past few days. I was hoping to see what would happen. And guess what? After two days my bodily humors are still full of crap. I am still pulling off pitch black foot pads. I have to say, I'm a little nervous. What if I have to use foot pads for the next ten years. Will they ever clear up? I'm starting to worry.

So, I know they are nothing but a scam and yet I am drawn in. What is it that makes rational humans believe nonsense and pseudo science? I don't think I'll ever know.

But, should my feet finally get clean, I will let you know.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Guess Who's Back?

So, I've finally gotten back to as close to normal as I think I'm ever going to get. I have been adjusting to motherhood and still trying to be borderline creative. So, I finally had a big gripe and I needed to discuss it.
But, before we get to that, I wanted to let my tens of readers know that I have created a blog called http://sadiequinn.blogspot.com. You can go there for baby pics, stories, and links. I am doing this so as not to bore everyone with baby stuff. Now, I will only bore interested parties.

Now, on to my gripe...

So, there is a commercial on Starz talking about Black History Month. In the commercial this white female comic says, "Notice how comics talk about their most painful moments? One man made that happen." She is talking about Richard Pryor. We then cut to a scene of her doing comedy. She is doing some of the most hack, girly, my dating history type comedy. This whole thing bothers me. There was not one person available to talk about truly painful experiences? And, why a white female comic? Is it to show how Pryor influences so many? Then why not actually show someone who is honoring him, not doing some "safe" comedy.

If anyone else has seen this commercial and has an opinion, let me know. Maybe I'm off base, but I feel like Pryor would eat this woman for dinner.

As I watched the commercial I thought about when I performed for Paul Mooney. He saw me and heard my name and proceeded to say, "What's your name? Amy? That's cute. Tell your jokes." I proceeded to go full force and do my A material. I had to work hard to get some dap from Mooney, but I did. And, I didn't tell any jokes about blind dates.



"Talking about blind dates. Bitch please. Unless that date set you on fire I don't want to hear it!"

Monday, January 07, 2008

Before this Baby Pops...

I'm very close to dropping this baby like a Lil' Wayne mixtape. I thought before I went to mommy land for a bit I would recommend anyone with an iPod or iTunes download the first season of The State on your system.

The State was a first rate sketch show with a young cats. Many of them now can be seen in things like Renio 911, Stella, and the movie The Ten. Check it out. For old fans it's a great find. If you never watched it, check it out.

http://www.the-state.com/

http://www.itunes.com

Monday, December 17, 2007

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A Charlie Brown Christmas...

This post is really about celebrating the holiday season (whatever holiday you celebrate) by doing something a little bigger than yourself. I love the holidays and feel they are a celebration of family, life, and the hope of the coming year. I personally love the holidays.
What I do not love is the stores ramming it down my throat right after Halloween. It's too much and always makes me grouchy. My inner Mr. Brown comes out and I yell a cathartic "good grief!" But, this year I decided to really do something for the holidays that mean something.
I donated a laptop from the charity "One Laptop per Child". The goal of this organization is to get every child in developing countries and those underserved in the US a free computer made possible by donations. I saw the founder on 60 Minutes and for the past year have been following this organization. Yesterday I got online and bought their laptop.
If you do it now, you will also get a laptop sent to your residence to give to a child in your life. The computer uses battery power, can be cranked, and is made to withstand desert and rainforest conditions. For $400 I am getting 2 computers, one for a child somewhere else and one for my future child. I also get to tax deduct $200 on my taxes for basically being a decent person.
I know it's easy to get cynical and humbug things like this. But, truly, giving is something we can do. If you can't afford to purchase one you can donate any amount of money to the foundation.
This "Give one/Get one" offer is only happening until Dec. 30th. Just stop by the website and check it out.
http://www.laptopgiving.org
Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwaanzaa, Happy New Year, and Happy Diwali to everyone!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

This Week in WTF?!?!?!?!

So, this week is shaping up to be totally bizarre and funny. Just the way I like it.

First things first...
Jay-Z was on Charlie Rose- the format of the show and the formality of the show made this interview just weird. Jay-Z is a great intervew and Charlie Rose did a good job. But, watching these two talk almost created a space-time rift in my living room.

Now, onto things with links...
Stephon Marbury is blackmailing Isiah Thomas for his starting position. Mr. Sex Truck has even more damaging information on Mr. Thomas than we already knew? Somebody get me some movie theater popcorn and a soda, this should be good.
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/basketball/knicks/2007/11/14/2007-11-14_stephon_marbury_threatens_to_dish_info_a.html

Mariah Carey has created her own perfume called "M". I can't wait to use it while I enjoy time in my tub with clothes on or hanging in my butterfly room reading notes from my adoring fans.
http://www.mariahcareybeauty.com/

Britney Spears kids teeth have offically made me angry. They are really nasty and maybe Britney should have used white strips on them. There are no pictures of the teeth here. But, check out Pink is the New Blog for pics of those chompers.
http://blog.vh1.com/2007-08-28/britneys-kids-have-rotting-teeth/

And finally, Lyndon LaRouche has been a staple of crazy people politics about as long as L. Ron Hubbard has been a staple of crazy people religion. This article is a fascintaing piece about his career and followers. If you haven't heard of this guy this is a nice introduction to him and his followers.
http://www2.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2007/0711.klein.html

Thursday, November 01, 2007

This is Why Home Schooling Scares Me...

Read this profile of home-schooled "Kid Nation" contestant Nathan. I find it hard to believe he came up with these opinions on his own.

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/kid_nation/bios/nathan/

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Great Post from Craigslist...

I just read this hilarious rant on Craigslist and wanted to post it verbatim.
And, after reading it, let me ask all of you a question: who bothers you most on the subway?


OK, I have been riding the subway every day for a lot of years. When you start riding, it doesn't take a much time to see all sorts of characters. At first, these people sightings might be somewhat shocking or even funny, but you begin to grow used to the pants less, toothless, yelling, drunk, cracked out, stinky, sweaty, and perverted characters that ride the subway. They really don't bother you much; in fact I welcome a little cameo from these guys once in a while. After all, it is part of our city culture.

That said I have compiled a list – a spilling of my mental Rolodex of the people I share the subway with on a daily basis. These are the monsters I can't get used to and won't accept. They annoy the ever-loving piss out of me. Thing is, I never see these hooligans all at once, but I do see one at least once a day.

- Lady that fans herself with a piece of paper in the train car with broken a/c: Look lady, the air is hot. Not just your air but everyone's air. We are all breathing in each other's nasty hot breath and germs and here you go creating a gust of hot wind. This does not cool you down and it is especially fucking annoying when the car happens to be stuck that day, all is silent and we are forced to listen to the flip flopping of your paper up and down as you breath in and out deeply. So fucking ridiculous.

- Chinese guy with yellow nails and a bag of chicken feet: Dude, I'm not even kidding, you are nasty as hell. No one likes a set of long man-nails near them EVER and here you are wrapping those daggers around the center subway pole nearly slicing innocent bystanders as the plastic bag of chicken feet sways near your legs. Oh yes, and what are you going to do with those chicken feet anyway? Take advantage of us poor unknowing customers by grinding them up to use as filler in the next batch of HAPPY FAMILY from the local Jade Garden? I mean Jesus.

- Asshole with the sunglasses on: OK, there is no sunshine on the subway. This is not the L train pal. You sit there with your black as night shades on clearly staring at people for as long as you please. That's just wrong. Your probably staring at the lady's tits who is standing above you or even undressing some poor middle schooler with your eyes. Not only are you taking ample amounts of time to fanaticize about unsuspecting riders, but you look like an idiot doing it. This is especially worse when you also chew gum with an open mouth like a friggin' cow. You are drawing attention to yourself now and I can tell by the direction of your neck muscles that you were staring at me! Lady on the 8:30 F train Monday morning - you know who you are!

- Jerk that leans over you to look at the subway map: OK, your ball sac is 2 inches from my face. You don't care do you? Even though you've traumatized me and I lean back in my seat to shy far far away from your jewels, you lean in closer to get a better look at where to transfer from the E to the D train! Yuk man, have some manners. This is worse when you are sleeping with your head in your hands and wake to find a pants slacks covered man bulge in your grill.

- Ghostfarter: OK, I know it may be hard to hold it, but if you had diarrhea this morning of course your farts are going to reek! I mean the train is crowded with little ventilation yet you subject us to the rotten remnants of your ass-meal. This is inconsiderate and nasty! Hey if one clipped out, OK - it's happened to the best of us but you try to move around a bit and circulate. Don’t just stand there and poof out stinker after stinker while you read your paper! I'm talking about the well-dressed guy in the suit or the one hot chic on the train, it was probably you!

- Asshole with the book bag: If your bag more than 3 inches off of your back for god's sakes put it in front of you toward the floor! This is common knowledge!! I can't tell you how many times some retard with a book bag extending 3 feet tall off his back has decided to turn around and talk to his friend or bend down to tie his shoe and clock me one without knowing the difference. Yeah, that was me who bumped you on purpose. I hate you!

- Lady that hugs the pole on a crowded train: Are you fucking blind!?? There are other people riding the train with you jerk but yet you proceed to make sweet love to the silver pole. Can we maybe hold on for a second TOO so we don't break and ankle??!!! Then, when we ask you to move you PRETEND you don't speak English. Real nice. Why don't you walk to work with a broomstick and hug that you shitbag.

- Nail Clipping Fool: This means you regular business guy with no regard or oblivious Asian lady. Jesus Christ, does anyone have manners?? DO NOT CLIP YOUR NAILS ON THE SUBWAY! I should be making signs for god's sakes! Not only are we subjected to the resonating sound of your clipping but your nail shrapnel is flying every which way and hitting men, women and children. This is by far the most disgusting thing ever. I'd like to take a free shot at your gut while fellow train riders hold you up.